"PUNKBITCH. I've Seen It Before. PUNKBITCH. And I Don't Care Anymore."
I have had very interesting conversations over the past 48 hours. After Sean and Jonathan's actions were revealed through my blog, i received many emails that were very unexpected. I received praise for saying what no one else would, because they were too intimidated by Sean. That's right, I'm not going to walk around a pretend that he doesn't have any influence on people. Clearly he has SOME impact on me, otherwise, why would i vent and tell everyone what kind of person he is.
I thought that i would receive slews of hate mail from gays all over Denver, because of all of the threatening text messages and hateful comments Jonathan has left on my profile... when in reality not only have i been applauded, but i have been called an "inspiration to all". I was prepared for some kind of reaction from them, because they are SELF PROCLAIMED as Denver's "it" kids. It has become quite apparent that that is not true. Not only are they not the "it kids" that they claim to be, but they are in fact very disliked by many. All day i kind of felt bad for them after writing the blog that sparked all the mail from boys around Denver, proclaiming their distaste for both Sean and Jonathan. But then, i received this text message from Jonathan (misspellings, grammar flaws, and all):
"I like how your friend called me just about 50 times yesterday. Threatening me. Like really? Your little brigade of haters needs to stop. i didn't do anything to you... i didn't do anything to deserve this."
I responded: "I agree that my friend calling you is too much, and immature. Tell me who it is and i will tell them to stop. I have never acted out on you. all i did was report the truth of what you both did."
"I wrote my own blog. yes you have acted out. This is ridiculous. You're pathetic. why are you doing this?"
I responded: "I'm doing this so that you learn to NEVER treat anyone like this again."
Usually my hurt is misread as anger. I give a lot to my friends, and invest a lot into my relationships, and i think that it would hurt ANYONE to have one end so abruptly over something so vapid. the worst feeling in the world is realizing that you care more about someone, than they care about you. I cannot describe with the deepest sincerity, the feeling of sorrow i had, when Sean decided I was a worthless to him, and then again, when my proclaimed "best friend" Jonathan Lockwood, not only lied to his boyfriend to prolong his relationship, but then turned around the following day (after crying on the phone with me the previous night begging me for my continued friendship) and made up lies about me, talked shit, to my friends, and people that i know.
Jonathan continually claims that he has done nothing to me, and that I'm heartless, and claims that all he did was be my friend, while they have both written blogs calling me " pathetic, a tranny, fat and disgusting", accusing me of "wearing King Soopers make up", and said I'm the type of person that would "serve them their Pelligrino".
Lets get something straight. I created my life, and who i am, without the help of ANYONE. I moved out at the age of 15, and started my adult life. Yes, i don't own fancy sports cars, but I'm hard working, genuine, and always honest. if i wasn't, i wouldn't be where i am today. i wouldn't have the values i have today. No amount of money can buy my life experiences that have made me the gracious, appreciative, beautiful person i am today. I have yet to lash out at either of them, and if i wanted to, i could open my mouth, say and do, some very hurtful unnecessary things. however, that's not my style. I told Jonathan that i am the LAST person to fuck with. He knows that, now.
You can call me names, and spread lies about me, and try and look down on me, because i don't get a monthly stipend from my parents, but it's mindless babble. it's worthless, because it's all vapid lies.
How can you hurt someone who is always honest?
How can you spill the darkest secrets of someone who has no secrets?
I am so fortunate to know the people that i know today, because they see me as the sincere person i am.
How do people look at you, Sean and Jonathan? What do they think when you're referenced? I have an inbox full of things that they say and think, but as a true gentleman, i will keep that to myself. I don't need to plague my life with lies and embellishments. Maybe one day you'll do the same.
Beautiful
