What Happened When The Universe Was Formed?
Last night was a lot of fun.
I made a few new friends,
which included [we'll call them] Mr.CCC and Mr.Smile.
They're really nice.
I met Mr.CCC online, and then ran into him at raves,
and i met Mr.Smile last night,
He's Mr.CCC's best friend.
Hahaha i had a lot of fun.
which is nice,
because the only people i meet in Denver,
are people that want to fuck me.
Yikes.
[PS] I got the job!!
I start today.
Things are lookin' up for me.
And that makes me smile.
Matty B.
Monday, October 30, 2006
In honor of NaNoWriMo [National Novel Writing Month.
I Started This LAST November
I think it's cool to read something that's a year old.
Huh.
Matty B.
I Started This LAST November
I think it's cool to read something that's a year old.
Huh.
Matty B.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Run Away
Last night was ridiculous.
It was full of booze,
Babes,
and Boo's. [Ahhahahaha, PUNNY!]
Today was a lot better, though.
I woke up, went home,
showered,
and i got to spend some time with Girlfriend,
Then with Guatemala Bean and Rubberbecky,
And topped off the night with Angel.
I really do love this boy.
He makes my days brighter,
My coffee stronger,
My laugh heartier.
And from what he told me tonight,
I do the same for him.
I'm jsut happy that there is someone out there that can be friends with me,
and not expect anything else.
Today was a good day.
Matty B.
Last night was ridiculous.
It was full of booze,
Babes,
and Boo's. [Ahhahahaha, PUNNY!]
Today was a lot better, though.
I woke up, went home,
showered,
and i got to spend some time with Girlfriend,
Then with Guatemala Bean and Rubberbecky,
And topped off the night with Angel.
I really do love this boy.
He makes my days brighter,
My coffee stronger,
My laugh heartier.
And from what he told me tonight,
I do the same for him.
I'm jsut happy that there is someone out there that can be friends with me,
and not expect anything else.
Today was a good day.
Matty B.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
*Hand Motions* BE MY FRIEND!*bounces on couch*
I had a lot of fun the other night with MizBigRed and MizJK.
They came over to my house to re-live some past time fun.
We laughed,
we talked,
we cried,
we wrote a book,
then made a "straight to DVD movie"..
It was almost just like old times.
Almost.
We ended up goign to the halloween store,
[at flatirons, where i was bombarded by people's names i didn't know]
and then just talked, laughed,
[rinse; repeat]
If i had emotions,
I can honestly say that i would've almost cried when i saw them drive away.
It was just so incredibly refreshing to be able to hang out with people that didn't judge you,
that were ALWAYS there, you know?
Those two are some special girls, let me tell you.
And this bitch is lucky to know such muses.
Matty B.
I had a lot of fun the other night with MizBigRed and MizJK.
They came over to my house to re-live some past time fun.
We laughed,
we talked,
we cried,
we wrote a book,
then made a "straight to DVD movie"..
It was almost just like old times.
Almost.
We ended up goign to the halloween store,
[at flatirons, where i was bombarded by people's names i didn't know]
and then just talked, laughed,
[rinse; repeat]
If i had emotions,
I can honestly say that i would've almost cried when i saw them drive away.
It was just so incredibly refreshing to be able to hang out with people that didn't judge you,
that were ALWAYS there, you know?
Those two are some special girls, let me tell you.
And this bitch is lucky to know such muses.
Matty B.
4:31am, and I'm on a stake out
FYI:
I've decided to stop writing about Mr.OZ, his "Shiny New Toy", or any of his "friends". Apparently my REAL friends are bored, and want to read something else.
And as far as the "Ozians" as I will now refer to them, they just cause me strife. Hahaha, i live 50 miles away, yet i'm still letting people get to me. I mean, i'm living my dream! I'm about to move into a cute little studio, right downtown, im going to start school, i have amazing friends, a few prospective boys.. things look good, and i'm wading through the sludge of my past? That's not realistic.
So it's official.
I'm over it.
When ANYONE is ready for a MATURE relationship,
you can call me.
And i'll buzz you up to my new apartment,
and we will have mimosa's and be glamourous.
until then,
you're DEAD.
So don't talk to me,
till you get a life.
*ahem*
Whirlwinds of change just grazed my life.
I think "Stakeout" By freezepop explains it pretty well.
Angel is finally seeing things from my point of view.
I gained a little "comfort weight" over the past few weeks,
but i'll loose it soon enough.
Other than the extremely embarassing,
yet fantastic, incident last night,
things are looking good.
It feels good to smile.
And it feels good to know that i came out on top.
After ALL the BULLSHIT,
and the assholes,
and the jealous haters,
and the fat and ugly people,
and the family,
and the "frienemies",
and the junkies,
and the drug dealers,
and the administration,
and the EX's,
and the BF's,
and the GF's,
and the drugs...
I feel it.
I came out on top.
And bitches,
It feels DAMN good.
Matty B.
FYI:
I've decided to stop writing about Mr.OZ, his "Shiny New Toy", or any of his "friends". Apparently my REAL friends are bored, and want to read something else.
And as far as the "Ozians" as I will now refer to them, they just cause me strife. Hahaha, i live 50 miles away, yet i'm still letting people get to me. I mean, i'm living my dream! I'm about to move into a cute little studio, right downtown, im going to start school, i have amazing friends, a few prospective boys.. things look good, and i'm wading through the sludge of my past? That's not realistic.
So it's official.
I'm over it.
When ANYONE is ready for a MATURE relationship,
you can call me.
And i'll buzz you up to my new apartment,
and we will have mimosa's and be glamourous.
until then,
you're DEAD.
So don't talk to me,
till you get a life.
*ahem*
Whirlwinds of change just grazed my life.
I think "Stakeout" By freezepop explains it pretty well.
Angel is finally seeing things from my point of view.
I gained a little "comfort weight" over the past few weeks,
but i'll loose it soon enough.
Other than the extremely embarassing,
yet fantastic, incident last night,
things are looking good.
It feels good to smile.
And it feels good to know that i came out on top.
After ALL the BULLSHIT,
and the assholes,
and the jealous haters,
and the fat and ugly people,
and the family,
and the "frienemies",
and the junkies,
and the drug dealers,
and the administration,
and the EX's,
and the BF's,
and the GF's,
and the drugs...
I feel it.
I came out on top.
And bitches,
It feels DAMN good.
Matty B.
Friday, October 27, 2006
I Met You In My Underwear, A Cape, And Some Wacked Out Weave.
Tonight was.. practically indescribable.
However, I'm going to try:
The bass blasted through my body,
reviving a hidden part of me that has been long since gone missing.
I awoke from within.
as i felt the feeling return to my limbs,
i could see the crowd breathe together,
move together,
and i knew that i had to be in the center of it.
I slid my way through the crowd,
up some stares,
wink
smile
wave,
and up the last few steps,
to the stage.
It was packed.
Everyone was pressed together,
dancing into eachother,
rather than with eachother.
His body touched mine,
gently at first,
then more aggressive,
when i didn't show a sign of rejection.
three steps in,
the music slows to a halt.
the lights black out,
just for a moment,
and as i broke through the crowd,
to the front and center of the stage,
the lights flared,
and the bass blared,
and the gromit faggots glared,
as they saw my hands rise above everyone,
and my hips dip low.
I felt alive just then.
The felling of a trickle of sweat revived my soul,
and i knew i was back.
I commented to His new boyfriend,
that He was a good guy,
and that he has my luck for him.
The genuine honesty came from the bottom of my new found soul,
But His words preceeded me,
and my reputation was known.
Suddenly my kind, honest words were taken as cynical and rude.
As His new boyfriend ran away from me,
Into His arms,
telling him of my words,
I smiled to myself,
because i was okay.
I accepted the animosity that was presented to me
[in front of me, and behind my back.. Don't think i can't hear you]
and took it with stride.
I sunk into the crowd,
and blended with the other shirtless boys/men that were seeking the same feeling as I.
Hours passed,
and i found myself sitting in Denver Diner.
Shirtless, and sweaty,
i downed my coffee,
andSCARFED nibbled some biscuits and gravy.
That's when i saw you walk in.
An absurdly-long and overly drawn out mild flirtation,
suddenly became real, as you passed me,
while accompanying your friend.
I turn my head down
knowing that i look like a skanky hooker,
and laugh at a joke that was never said.
I look up moments later,
seeing if i was in the clear,
but you got caught in traffic,
and our eyes connected,
and i could feel my face get hot.
after you sat down,
i ran to the bathroom to [attempt] to fix my hair,
or make-up,
or LIFE,
and as i look into the mirror,
you're standing behind me.
With the biggest grin on your face.
Immidiately, i'm red again,
[fourth time in my life]
and i'm apologizing for looking like the train wreck i did.
(wearing a floor length cape,
underwear,
and tennis shoes)
You smile,
laugh,
and compliment me,
and my face continues to burn.
minutes pass,
you joke about havting to pee,
and i scurry out of the bathroom,
too embarassed to speak.
The table silences as i approach,
and my friends just laugh at the situation.
we end up talking outside while i smoke,
and we exchange cute text messages on my way home.
my evening was a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least.
but i find that eventhough i'm not dancing at the club,
and it's 4:45am,
i still have that "re-kindled" feeling.
I do believe that my faith in men, have been restored.
Matty B.
Tonight was.. practically indescribable.
However, I'm going to try:
The bass blasted through my body,
reviving a hidden part of me that has been long since gone missing.
I awoke from within.
as i felt the feeling return to my limbs,
i could see the crowd breathe together,
move together,
and i knew that i had to be in the center of it.
I slid my way through the crowd,
up some stares,
wink
smile
wave,
and up the last few steps,
to the stage.
It was packed.
Everyone was pressed together,
dancing into eachother,
rather than with eachother.
His body touched mine,
gently at first,
then more aggressive,
when i didn't show a sign of rejection.
three steps in,
the music slows to a halt.
the lights black out,
just for a moment,
and as i broke through the crowd,
to the front and center of the stage,
the lights flared,
and the bass blared,
and the gromit faggots glared,
as they saw my hands rise above everyone,
and my hips dip low.
I felt alive just then.
The felling of a trickle of sweat revived my soul,
and i knew i was back.
I commented to His new boyfriend,
that He was a good guy,
and that he has my luck for him.
The genuine honesty came from the bottom of my new found soul,
But His words preceeded me,
and my reputation was known.
Suddenly my kind, honest words were taken as cynical and rude.
As His new boyfriend ran away from me,
Into His arms,
telling him of my words,
I smiled to myself,
because i was okay.
I accepted the animosity that was presented to me
[in front of me, and behind my back.. Don't think i can't hear you]
and took it with stride.
I sunk into the crowd,
and blended with the other shirtless boys/men that were seeking the same feeling as I.
Hours passed,
and i found myself sitting in Denver Diner.
Shirtless, and sweaty,
i downed my coffee,
and
That's when i saw you walk in.
An absurdly-long and overly drawn out mild flirtation,
suddenly became real, as you passed me,
while accompanying your friend.
I turn my head down
knowing that i look like a skanky hooker,
and laugh at a joke that was never said.
I look up moments later,
seeing if i was in the clear,
but you got caught in traffic,
and our eyes connected,
and i could feel my face get hot.
after you sat down,
i ran to the bathroom to [attempt] to fix my hair,
or make-up,
or LIFE,
and as i look into the mirror,
you're standing behind me.
With the biggest grin on your face.
Immidiately, i'm red again,
[fourth time in my life]
and i'm apologizing for looking like the train wreck i did.
(wearing a floor length cape,
underwear,
and tennis shoes)
You smile,
laugh,
and compliment me,
and my face continues to burn.
minutes pass,
you joke about havting to pee,
and i scurry out of the bathroom,
too embarassed to speak.
The table silences as i approach,
and my friends just laugh at the situation.
we end up talking outside while i smoke,
and we exchange cute text messages on my way home.
my evening was a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least.
but i find that eventhough i'm not dancing at the club,
and it's 4:45am,
i still have that "re-kindled" feeling.
I do believe that my faith in men, have been restored.
Matty B.
Monday, October 23, 2006
It's This Thing, You Did.
I've had three boy experiences today.
None of which panned out as planned.
[Dater #1]
I meet up with him at starbucks.
He's clearly VERY nervous.
He takes a look at me,
as i walk up to him,
and as he's taking a sip of his Latte',
he dribbles it all over his shirt;
and doesn't even notice.
For the next hour, he talks about how much money he makes,
How big his next pay check is,
and then flags down a woman,
and buys a massage/facial gift certificate from her.
THEN bitches about how much money he doesn't have.
With such a good job,
you could've at LEAST offered to pay for my
Iced Non-fat Chai Tea-Latte.
It's $2.65.
I frantically texted Nic,
who immidiately called me with an emergency,
and i [politely] excused myself from the train-wreck of a date.
[Dater #2]
Mr.SSB and X-BF (we'll call him Mr.DanceRelief) and I all drove to brighton,
to go to "the scariest haunted house in Colorado".
I'll have to admit,
It was really scary.
[for 15 dollars, it's better be!]
about 2 minutes into the haunted house,
This GHASTLY GHOUL leaped out of no where
and after attempting to freak me out,
he asked for a drag of my ciggarette.
I said, absolutely,
and then OUT OF NOWHERE,
he said to me (with a slight country twang)
"are you gay?"
I responded,"yes,"
with an uneasy cringe.
He immidiately responded to me,
"My brothers gay,
you should give him a call!
Here, have his number."
He held out his hand,
motioning for my cell phone,
he held out his skeleton hand,
and he punched in his brother's number.
"Ask for Kord. He works here with me, but i don't know where he is,
but he'll be home around midnight,
but you can call him tomorrow."
I finished the Haunted House wondering if i projected homosexuality,
or if the next handsome zombie is his brother.
I left the Haunted House with an odd feeling.
Was it odd attraction?
Or just a harlequinne romance blossoming from the bones of the fallen?
[Dater #3]
I hop online,
when i get home to my new Downtown Apt.
After signing onto AIM,
CutieMcCuterson (a guy that i've been overdue to meet up with)
IM's me, asking me what i'm doing.
2 IM's later,
he asking me fo drugs,
tells me that i should come party.
Huh.
Funny how people are sometimes.
Matty B.
I've had three boy experiences today.
None of which panned out as planned.
[Dater #1]
I meet up with him at starbucks.
He's clearly VERY nervous.
He takes a look at me,
as i walk up to him,
and as he's taking a sip of his Latte',
he dribbles it all over his shirt;
and doesn't even notice.
For the next hour, he talks about how much money he makes,
How big his next pay check is,
and then flags down a woman,
and buys a massage/facial gift certificate from her.
THEN bitches about how much money he doesn't have.
With such a good job,
you could've at LEAST offered to pay for my
Iced Non-fat Chai Tea-Latte.
It's $2.65.
I frantically texted Nic,
who immidiately called me with an emergency,
and i [politely] excused myself from the train-wreck of a date.
[Dater #2]
Mr.SSB and X-BF (we'll call him Mr.DanceRelief) and I all drove to brighton,
to go to "the scariest haunted house in Colorado".
I'll have to admit,
It was really scary.
[for 15 dollars, it's better be!]
about 2 minutes into the haunted house,
This GHASTLY GHOUL leaped out of no where
and after attempting to freak me out,
he asked for a drag of my ciggarette.
I said, absolutely,
and then OUT OF NOWHERE,
he said to me (with a slight country twang)
"are you gay?"
I responded,"yes,"
with an uneasy cringe.
He immidiately responded to me,
"My brothers gay,
you should give him a call!
Here, have his number."
He held out his hand,
motioning for my cell phone,
he held out his skeleton hand,
and he punched in his brother's number.
"Ask for Kord. He works here with me, but i don't know where he is,
but he'll be home around midnight,
but you can call him tomorrow."
I finished the Haunted House wondering if i projected homosexuality,
or if the next handsome zombie is his brother.
I left the Haunted House with an odd feeling.
Was it odd attraction?
Or just a harlequinne romance blossoming from the bones of the fallen?
[Dater #3]
I hop online,
when i get home to my new Downtown Apt.
After signing onto AIM,
CutieMcCuterson (a guy that i've been overdue to meet up with)
IM's me, asking me what i'm doing.
2 IM's later,
he asking me fo drugs,
tells me that i should come party.
Huh.
Funny how people are sometimes.
Matty B.
I'm Having The Day From Hell.
Ever since friday,
everything is different.
I look at myself in the mirror,
and I'm a completely different person.
I look at the scale,
and it's a ocmpletely different weight.
I look at new pictures,
and i have a completely different body.
I feel my skin,
and it's a different texture,
i look at my eyes,
and the color is gone.
I look inward to my heart,
something that i thought i had regained,
only to be unpleastly surprized that there isn't anything there.
I have been trying to cry or laugh or smile or feel for days,
and all i find myself doing is longing to me with Angel.
and i don't like it.
i CAN'T like it.
we're best friends,
but it just can't be like that.
i feel veunerable,
and that's not acceptable.
This bitch needs to toughen up.
And I'm going to do it immidiatly.
Because this sad excuse of a person that's typing right now,
isn't liked my anyone.
I'm going to be who i was two summers ago.
I'll cut a bitch,
And not even blink.
Maybe it's the "leftover" drugs in my body,
but all i know is that i am going to be a stronger person,
I need to be a stronger person.
Or i won't make it.
Matty B.
Ever since friday,
everything is different.
I look at myself in the mirror,
and I'm a completely different person.
I look at the scale,
and it's a ocmpletely different weight.
I look at new pictures,
and i have a completely different body.
I feel my skin,
and it's a different texture,
i look at my eyes,
and the color is gone.
I look inward to my heart,
something that i thought i had regained,
only to be unpleastly surprized that there isn't anything there.
I have been trying to cry or laugh or smile or feel for days,
and all i find myself doing is longing to me with Angel.
and i don't like it.
i CAN'T like it.
we're best friends,
but it just can't be like that.
i feel veunerable,
and that's not acceptable.
This bitch needs to toughen up.
And I'm going to do it immidiatly.
Because this sad excuse of a person that's typing right now,
isn't liked my anyone.
I'm going to be who i was two summers ago.
I'll cut a bitch,
And not even blink.
Maybe it's the "leftover" drugs in my body,
but all i know is that i am going to be a stronger person,
I need to be a stronger person.
Or i won't make it.
Matty B.
I'm Just A Wet Dream, In A Wet Scene.
Last night was ridiculous.
After my brian being complete mush from friday night's experience,
I pitched for a [HUGE GLASS] bottle of Bacardi.
The basic run down of what happened
is that we all got SHITFACED.
MizWHAT?! came over with a few cute boys,
Guatemala Bean and I sobered up,
We went and got GIRLFRIEND,
who had to sneak out of her house.
GB and her girlfriend fought extensivly when we got home.
Then we dropped GIRLFRIEND off at her house on the way to MR.OZ's parent's house,
[He was staying there at the time]
An went to see him.
After breifly talking about nothing and the extent of his new piercings,
We all (minus OZ) hopped in the car and picked up this chick
on the way to Denver.
We air popped some popcorn and i passed out in someone's bed,
only to be woken up with two friends of ours
FUCKING ON TOP OF ME.
The next thing i knew i was being woken up by GB,
and i was curled up in the corner
in their living room.
What a night.
Matty B.
Last night was ridiculous.
After my brian being complete mush from friday night's experience,
I pitched for a [HUGE GLASS] bottle of Bacardi.
The basic run down of what happened
is that we all got SHITFACED.
MizWHAT?! came over with a few cute boys,
Guatemala Bean and I sobered up,
We went and got GIRLFRIEND,
who had to sneak out of her house.
GB and her girlfriend fought extensivly when we got home.
Then we dropped GIRLFRIEND off at her house on the way to MR.OZ's parent's house,
[He was staying there at the time]
An went to see him.
After breifly talking about nothing and the extent of his new piercings,
We all (minus OZ) hopped in the car and picked up this chick
on the way to Denver.
We air popped some popcorn and i passed out in someone's bed,
only to be woken up with two friends of ours
FUCKING ON TOP OF ME.
The next thing i knew i was being woken up by GB,
and i was curled up in the corner
in their living room.
What a night.
Matty B.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
I tripped over Alice D.
Huh.
Mr.Angel and I had an emotional breakthrough with eachother.
you can't really explain it,
because you weren't there,
But we saw the [VERY] good and the [VERY] bad side of eachother.
We stood and looked in the mirror,
and it was like seeing eacother's shell of existance.
I rememeber feeling the cold tiles underneath my toes.
the cheers of the elevator bells just jeered at us,
while i looked at his bane of existance.
I know that he could see me,
see that unruly [PRE MR.OZ] be-that-as-it-may, person.
I felt him probe my body with his eyes,
but i knew he only saw what i wanted him to see.
it was like a visual wresting match,
our bodies colliding with every look,
pinning eachother with every stare..
we talked.
and talked.
in the snow
on the snow
over the snow
near the snow
under the snow
the DARLEY TOWERS is like a drug haven.
I walked in,
and was offered acid within minutes of me being there.
luckily it was a really great group of people.
all i know, is that i havn't slept in 24 hours,
i havn't eaten,
and i am awaiting the sweet silent gift of sleep,
so i can NEVER see that person in me,
or Mr.Angel again.
Matty B.
Huh.
Mr.Angel and I had an emotional breakthrough with eachother.
you can't really explain it,
because you weren't there,
But we saw the [VERY] good and the [VERY] bad side of eachother.
We stood and looked in the mirror,
and it was like seeing eacother's shell of existance.
I rememeber feeling the cold tiles underneath my toes.
the cheers of the elevator bells just jeered at us,
while i looked at his bane of existance.
I know that he could see me,
see that unruly [PRE MR.OZ] be-that-as-it-may, person.
I felt him probe my body with his eyes,
but i knew he only saw what i wanted him to see.
it was like a visual wresting match,
our bodies colliding with every look,
pinning eachother with every stare..
we talked.
and talked.
in the snow
on the snow
over the snow
near the snow
under the snow
the DARLEY TOWERS is like a drug haven.
I walked in,
and was offered acid within minutes of me being there.
luckily it was a really great group of people.
all i know, is that i havn't slept in 24 hours,
i havn't eaten,
and i am awaiting the sweet silent gift of sleep,
so i can NEVER see that person in me,
or Mr.Angel again.
Matty B.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Call On Me
So Mr.OZ has a new boyfriend.
Knowing me, Mr.Matty Beautiful,
Everyone is rushing up to me,
trying to be the first one to get a direct quote.
It's funny, because as cynical as I am,
I really don't care.
Hahaha, i know the immidiate response from all of my readers is,
OH Well, he's just fronting a strong fascade,
He's absolutely torn up on the inside.
However, in actuality, i REALLY don't care.
I don't read his blog posts about how happy he is with his shiny new toy,
or the ones about how he can FINALLY sleep at night.
To put it in perspective, though,
I don't read ANY of my friend's blogs that say sappy shit like that,
because i don't want to be made to feel
like i have to find a man to be happy.
Because i don't.
My man's name is Kate.
And whenever i'm down, she numbs that shit faster than i can say G-Unit.
However it's been nice,
Because she hasn't really played a part in my life lately.
It's funny, because while everyone is congratulating him for his new found addiction,
Everyone is worried about how i'm going to deal with not having one;
an addiction, that is.
All i know is that tomorrow is a new day.
Tomorrow,
I'm going to wake up in my new Downtown Loft,
Light up a cigarette,
and walk down the road leading to my future.
And I'm leavign addicts in my past.
Matty B.
So Mr.OZ has a new boyfriend.
Knowing me, Mr.Matty Beautiful,
Everyone is rushing up to me,
trying to be the first one to get a direct quote.
It's funny, because as cynical as I am,
I really don't care.
Hahaha, i know the immidiate response from all of my readers is,
OH Well, he's just fronting a strong fascade,
He's absolutely torn up on the inside.
However, in actuality, i REALLY don't care.
I don't read his blog posts about how happy he is with his shiny new toy,
or the ones about how he can FINALLY sleep at night.
To put it in perspective, though,
I don't read ANY of my friend's blogs that say sappy shit like that,
because i don't want to be made to feel
like i have to find a man to be happy.
Because i don't.
My man's name is Kate.
And whenever i'm down, she numbs that shit faster than i can say G-Unit.
However it's been nice,
Because she hasn't really played a part in my life lately.
It's funny, because while everyone is congratulating him for his new found addiction,
Everyone is worried about how i'm going to deal with not having one;
an addiction, that is.
All i know is that tomorrow is a new day.
Tomorrow,
I'm going to wake up in my new Downtown Loft,
Light up a cigarette,
and walk down the road leading to my future.
And I'm leavign addicts in my past.
Matty B.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Reality Today, Is Harsh.
Everyone is getting really upset abou twhat i've been saying about the former friend of mine, Jenna.
They're pissed and angry (my friends especially) because I have been so forgiving!
I'm really holding back,
So i will spend the night thinking of a final shabang,
and get this all over with.
Matty B.
Everyone is getting really upset abou twhat i've been saying about the former friend of mine, Jenna.
They're pissed and angry (my friends especially) because I have been so forgiving!
I'm really holding back,
So i will spend the night thinking of a final shabang,
and get this all over with.
Matty B.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Secret Single Behavior
In light of the drama that fat people like to cause,
it's become clear that i look a little worn out.
so i spent the evening in,
pampering myself,
watching SATC,
and basically rejuvinating my skin and auora.
I do believe that a few people in my Comm. In Society class have said, and i quote DIRECTLY,
"Seriously Matty. I can't believe she told administration that you're selling meth. i mean look at her. With her eyes bulging out of her head, her hair a greasy mess, and those food stained clothes, she looks like the Meth dealer, not you. Too bad she couldn't use some of that money to buy a bar of soap-"
The class laughed.
It's good to be on top.
[OW! PUN!]
Matty B.
In light of the drama that fat people like to cause,
it's become clear that i look a little worn out.
so i spent the evening in,
pampering myself,
watching SATC,
and basically rejuvinating my skin and auora.
I do believe that a few people in my Comm. In Society class have said, and i quote DIRECTLY,
"Seriously Matty. I can't believe she told administration that you're selling meth. i mean look at her. With her eyes bulging out of her head, her hair a greasy mess, and those food stained clothes, she looks like the Meth dealer, not you. Too bad she couldn't use some of that money to buy a bar of soap-"
The class laughed.
It's good to be on top.
[OW! PUN!]
Matty B.
The Enchilada's Look Good..
I was really mean to Jenna today.
I do believe that the exact words i said to her,
while she was in the lunch line were,
"Eat up Jenna! Eat up all that food! Eat, eat, FATASS!"
Huh.
I think i'm mean.
And if anyone thinks less of me,
Well, fuck you.
You don't even know what she caused.
Matty B.
I was really mean to Jenna today.
I do believe that the exact words i said to her,
while she was in the lunch line were,
"Eat up Jenna! Eat up all that food! Eat, eat, FATASS!"
Huh.
I think i'm mean.
And if anyone thinks less of me,
Well, fuck you.
You don't even know what she caused.
Matty B.
Hollywood, We're NEVER Going Down!
Jenna is a fat, filthy, disgusting excuse of a "human".
We were in Areobic Walking this morning,
and as soon as the teacher left the room,
she stopped walking around the Small Gym [wrestling room]
and SAT DOWN.
As i walked by,
I asked her [loudly]
"Jenna! Don't you think that you should be walking THE MOST out of everyone in our class?"
Her little friend flipped me off,
and her face got all sweaty,
and i just walked away.
Today may be my last day at school,
But goddamn it,
THIS CUNT will NOT be forgotten.
Matty B.
Jenna is a fat, filthy, disgusting excuse of a "human".
We were in Areobic Walking this morning,
and as soon as the teacher left the room,
she stopped walking around the Small Gym [wrestling room]
and SAT DOWN.
As i walked by,
I asked her [loudly]
"Jenna! Don't you think that you should be walking THE MOST out of everyone in our class?"
Her little friend flipped me off,
and her face got all sweaty,
and i just walked away.
Today may be my last day at school,
But goddamn it,
THIS CUNT will NOT be forgotten.
Matty B.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Friday, October 13, 2006
Matty, You're A BITCH! You, Are A MEAN GIRL! ..Sort Of
Jenna sent a friend over to BE me to stop being mean to her.
Earlier that day, we were sitting in AP EURO,
She told me to move my stuff off her chair,
I said no,
she treatened to sit on it,
i said you'd better not,
she sat down,
I pushed her off and yelled at the top of my lungs,
"You FAT ASS! GET OFF MY ALDO BAG!"
then i told her that if she even recognized my existance,
i would ruin her life.
As she started to COMPLAIN AND ARGUE (i know, what's new?)
I held ip my hand,
and said," I'm sorry i have people to text message."
And i shunned her.
She immidiately went to the back of the classroom
(we sit in the front row, so everyone in the class watched with anticipation to see if i was going to beat this bitch down, or not)
sat for a second,
then started crying,
and ran out of the room..
..and never came back.
Hahahahahahahah
She dug her grave.
Now, she can lie in it.
Matty B.
Jenna sent a friend over to BE me to stop being mean to her.
Earlier that day, we were sitting in AP EURO,
She told me to move my stuff off her chair,
I said no,
she treatened to sit on it,
i said you'd better not,
she sat down,
I pushed her off and yelled at the top of my lungs,
"You FAT ASS! GET OFF MY ALDO BAG!"
then i told her that if she even recognized my existance,
i would ruin her life.
As she started to COMPLAIN AND ARGUE (i know, what's new?)
I held ip my hand,
and said," I'm sorry i have people to text message."
And i shunned her.
She immidiately went to the back of the classroom
(we sit in the front row, so everyone in the class watched with anticipation to see if i was going to beat this bitch down, or not)
sat for a second,
then started crying,
and ran out of the room..
..and never came back.
Hahahahahahahah
She dug her grave.
Now, she can lie in it.
Matty B.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Show Stoppin' 'till They Loose Their Breath
I have a coffee date on friday afternoon before Eric's birthday party.
He's cute, and recently moved to Denver from Castle Rock.
(Messy Break Up)
But we talked for a while today on AIM.
He was nice and cute.
I'm excited.
..I also have a coffee dat on Saturday with a boy from boulder.
He's cute, too.
Ha.
We'll have to see where they lead.
Matty B.
I have a coffee date on friday afternoon before Eric's birthday party.
He's cute, and recently moved to Denver from Castle Rock.
(Messy Break Up)
But we talked for a while today on AIM.
He was nice and cute.
I'm excited.
..I also have a coffee dat on Saturday with a boy from boulder.
He's cute, too.
Ha.
We'll have to see where they lead.
Matty B.
"GET OFF MY STOOP!"
Mr.APT (who will now be called SSB) *ahem* Mr.SSB and I have decided to get an apartment together. He talked to his aprtment property manager,
and his lease is up January 1st.
We decided to get a two bedroom facing 15th and California.
FAB.
I can't wait,
I'll be living GLAMOUR to the fullest.
Matty B.
Mr.APT (who will now be called SSB) *ahem* Mr.SSB and I have decided to get an apartment together. He talked to his aprtment property manager,
and his lease is up January 1st.
We decided to get a two bedroom facing 15th and California.
FAB.
I can't wait,
I'll be living GLAMOUR to the fullest.
Matty B.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
There's A Time And Place For Everything.
People can surprize you sometimes.
For example,
when you talk to close friends in confidence,
they turn and stab you in the back.
..and the best part is, is that they really don't know how deep the wound is.
I have been debating on weather or not i should find a studio apartment,
You know, because Guatemala Bean's girlfriend is crazy,
and they fight all the time,
But because of recent things that have seemed to "slip" out of people's mouths
(IE ANGEL, giRLFRIEND, AND MIZZbUSINESS)
Guatemala Bean has decided to make that decision for me.
Lucky enough, it came at a very oppertune time.
I get to see the true colors of my friends.
It's a color that looks good on no one:
UGLY.
They exaggurate and stretch the truth to be mroe dramatic;
to geth THEM more attention.
I solemnly swear one thing:
DON'T TRUST ANYONE.
You want to spill my indescretions?
Hi Tasha.
Stop playing the whole "CJ tug of war"
Admit it.
You DON'T want to be with him.
what you call love is a joke,
and it sickens me to watcch you fuck with his life and emotions.
I LOVED spending time with you.
You WERE a a self consious mess,
but i can tell out of the way you've been acting lately,
they you've matured a lot,
and relaized that you are quite a beautiful person.
Hopefully I had a something to do with that.
My final advice for you?
Try to be the most HONEST and CONFIDANT person you can be.
while you might be a beautiful girl right now,
if you live by that advice,
you will become a GORGEOUS WOMAN.
*good luck*
Hello Angel, I mean, Carter.
STOP.
REALIZE THAT SHE IS TRYING TO MOVE ON.
It kills me to see that you are a love sick puppy.
UGH. It's SO unnattractive.
SECOND?
YOU'RE NOT BISEXUAL.
You like attention.
I won't lie, so do I.,
I make out with girls all the time,
but you don't see me calling myself Bi.
You're not even Straight.
You are T-Sexual.
You LIVE BREATHE AND WANE over tash.
It's sad to see such a beautiful person
waste away over something so trvial.
My advice?
Be honest with yourself and with other people about how you feel.
Don't say things to please them.
Be brutally honest.
other than that,
you're perfect.
thank you for teaching me that there is still goo d out in the world.
without you, i'd still be slicing away at my wrists.
FINALLY, Jenna.
Does it feel good to lie there?
In that cold lonly grave of lies that you dug yourself?
Always seeking attention.
Even if it means exploiting the only person that will talk to you.
I'M THE ONLY PERSON THAT WOULD EVEN THINK OF HANGING OUT WITH YOU OUTSIDE SCHOOL.
NOW YOU HAVE NO ONE.
go lie in your grave.
hope it's cozy.
Matty B.
People can surprize you sometimes.
For example,
when you talk to close friends in confidence,
they turn and stab you in the back.
..and the best part is, is that they really don't know how deep the wound is.
I have been debating on weather or not i should find a studio apartment,
You know, because Guatemala Bean's girlfriend is crazy,
and they fight all the time,
But because of recent things that have seemed to "slip" out of people's mouths
(IE ANGEL, giRLFRIEND, AND MIZZbUSINESS)
Guatemala Bean has decided to make that decision for me.
Lucky enough, it came at a very oppertune time.
I get to see the true colors of my friends.
It's a color that looks good on no one:
UGLY.
They exaggurate and stretch the truth to be mroe dramatic;
to geth THEM more attention.
I solemnly swear one thing:
DON'T TRUST ANYONE.
You want to spill my indescretions?
Hi Tasha.
Stop playing the whole "CJ tug of war"
Admit it.
You DON'T want to be with him.
what you call love is a joke,
and it sickens me to watcch you fuck with his life and emotions.
I LOVED spending time with you.
You WERE a a self consious mess,
but i can tell out of the way you've been acting lately,
they you've matured a lot,
and relaized that you are quite a beautiful person.
Hopefully I had a something to do with that.
My final advice for you?
Try to be the most HONEST and CONFIDANT person you can be.
while you might be a beautiful girl right now,
if you live by that advice,
you will become a GORGEOUS WOMAN.
*good luck*
Hello Angel, I mean, Carter.
STOP.
REALIZE THAT SHE IS TRYING TO MOVE ON.
It kills me to see that you are a love sick puppy.
UGH. It's SO unnattractive.
SECOND?
YOU'RE NOT BISEXUAL.
You like attention.
I won't lie, so do I.,
I make out with girls all the time,
but you don't see me calling myself Bi.
You're not even Straight.
You are T-Sexual.
You LIVE BREATHE AND WANE over tash.
It's sad to see such a beautiful person
waste away over something so trvial.
My advice?
Be honest with yourself and with other people about how you feel.
Don't say things to please them.
Be brutally honest.
other than that,
you're perfect.
thank you for teaching me that there is still goo d out in the world.
without you, i'd still be slicing away at my wrists.
FINALLY, Jenna.
Does it feel good to lie there?
In that cold lonly grave of lies that you dug yourself?
Always seeking attention.
Even if it means exploiting the only person that will talk to you.
I'M THE ONLY PERSON THAT WOULD EVEN THINK OF HANGING OUT WITH YOU OUTSIDE SCHOOL.
NOW YOU HAVE NO ONE.
go lie in your grave.
hope it's cozy.
Matty B.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Season Three Finale
I can breathe today.
I woke up this morning,
to an overcast day,
my toes freezing,
my fingers matching;
and I hopped out of bed,
and clicked on my coffee pot.
After finishing my (small and managable) bowl of cereal,
I poured myself a very large cup of coffee,
and shared a cigarette with Carrie, Miranda, Charolette, and Samantha.
after finishing my cup of coffee,
as the credits rolled across the screen,
I coasted up my stairs,
and sorted laundry.
I stuck a load of whites in,
and watched the season finale of sex and the city,
while downing another cup of coffee.
I got to thinking.
after last night at the 80's party,
I realized that i DO believe i have dated almost every available guy in colorado.
..Or i've dated their friend or roommate.
I glaced over the Gaytabase and i've had SOME sort of relationship with 80% of the guys on there.
I'm not saying that i'm a slut,
But it's just weird, you know?
Should i stop looking for relationships with people i don't know,
or should I look inwards,
and try to rebuild bridges with people who i already know?
..or that know me?
It's nice, because i can think about all this calmly,
without any adverse negative feelings.
I've just burned a lot of bridges,
As i think about it now,
I burned them for a reason.
I guess the question is,
"Has time really mended my heart, opening my eyes to the good i saw in my X's? Or has is just fogged my vision as to why they are X's to begin with?"
What I do know, is that i'm going to finish my laundry,
Clean my bedroom and bathroom,
and start the week fresh.
Matty B.
I can breathe today.
I woke up this morning,
to an overcast day,
my toes freezing,
my fingers matching;
and I hopped out of bed,
and clicked on my coffee pot.
After finishing my (small and managable) bowl of cereal,
I poured myself a very large cup of coffee,
and shared a cigarette with Carrie, Miranda, Charolette, and Samantha.
after finishing my cup of coffee,
as the credits rolled across the screen,
I coasted up my stairs,
and sorted laundry.
I stuck a load of whites in,
and watched the season finale of sex and the city,
while downing another cup of coffee.
I got to thinking.
after last night at the 80's party,
I realized that i DO believe i have dated almost every available guy in colorado.
..Or i've dated their friend or roommate.
I glaced over the Gaytabase and i've had SOME sort of relationship with 80% of the guys on there.
I'm not saying that i'm a slut,
But it's just weird, you know?
Should i stop looking for relationships with people i don't know,
or should I look inwards,
and try to rebuild bridges with people who i already know?
..or that know me?
It's nice, because i can think about all this calmly,
without any adverse negative feelings.
I've just burned a lot of bridges,
As i think about it now,
I burned them for a reason.
I guess the question is,
"Has time really mended my heart, opening my eyes to the good i saw in my X's? Or has is just fogged my vision as to why they are X's to begin with?"
What I do know, is that i'm going to finish my laundry,
Clean my bedroom and bathroom,
and start the week fresh.
Matty B.
I'll Have The Spel Check, Now
I went o an 80's themed party.
I got to fool around with this REALLY SEXY straight guy (Mr.Bicepts, we'll call him)
and got a little under -the-underwear action.
Then Miz WHAT?! dropped me off of Angel's Apartment.
Last night I had an amazing time with angel, after workng out, A LOT.
We wee honest, and close, and sat at a playground until 4am in the morning.
I smiled.
genuinely.
NOW, I'm a drunken mess, and writing in my blog.
funny how i said i would be sober until BRIAN WASH
HA.
Dang IT!!! my life is a beautiful disaster.
Hm.
Matty B.
I went o an 80's themed party.
I got to fool around with this REALLY SEXY straight guy (Mr.Bicepts, we'll call him)
and got a little under -the-underwear action.
Then Miz WHAT?! dropped me off of Angel's Apartment.
Last night I had an amazing time with angel, after workng out, A LOT.
We wee honest, and close, and sat at a playground until 4am in the morning.
I smiled.
genuinely.
NOW, I'm a drunken mess, and writing in my blog.
funny how i said i would be sober until BRIAN WASH
HA.
Dang IT!!! my life is a beautiful disaster.
Hm.
Matty B.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Toxic [MANEATER]
Watch out,
this is angry.
Hi.
You asked me for a clean slate.
You asked us to start over.
You asked me to be there, to be your friend.
Now, after giving you D.) All the above,
You're not happy.
This is a two way street, you know.
It hurts to go home from a very akward coffee,
and then not even have any sort of apologies for your (25 minute tardiness)
or lack of talking.
I'm doing this for you,
and you're not happy.
PLEASE.
Tell me why I am going through the effort.
Tell me why I am going through the motions.
You're not in a position of forgivness.
You haven't apologized to me.
At all.
I've apologized for my harsh behavior.
Where's your remorse?
Please give me something to go off of.
Because I want a clean slate, too.
But you're going to have to give me more.
Matty B.
Watch out,
this is angry.
Hi.
You asked me for a clean slate.
You asked us to start over.
You asked me to be there, to be your friend.
Now, after giving you D.) All the above,
You're not happy.
This is a two way street, you know.
It hurts to go home from a very akward coffee,
and then not even have any sort of apologies for your (25 minute tardiness)
or lack of talking.
I'm doing this for you,
and you're not happy.
PLEASE.
Tell me why I am going through the effort.
Tell me why I am going through the motions.
You're not in a position of forgivness.
You haven't apologized to me.
At all.
I've apologized for my harsh behavior.
Where's your remorse?
Please give me something to go off of.
Because I want a clean slate, too.
But you're going to have to give me more.
Matty B.
Black Dahlia
Yesterday was an action-packed day, to say the least.
It started with me going to the Optomitrist for the first time.
Apparently i need bifocals.
(and luckily for me, they make them in contacts. woot!)
I stumbled the car,
because my pupils were dialated (and were going to be for 6 more hours)
and lit up a cigarette.
Mr. DejaVu and I went to go get sushi at the very hip "Hapa" Restaurant in downtown Boulder.
After the mutipul orgasm roll and some calamari,
we went and visted MizWHAT?! at work.
She was fantastic.
After parting our seperate ways,
I hopped on the B Word to go uptown to the hill,
where i bought my Brainwash ticket.
FAB.
I arrived back downtown at about 5:45,
and headed over to Starbucks,
to meet Mr. OZ, at 6:30.
I walked in,
got a Non-fat Chai Tea Latte,
and sat in the park and smoked a cigarette, (or five)
while i did homework and listened to my iPod.
I got back to Starbucks at about 6:25,
and sat around for about 30 minutes or so.
After concluding he blew me off,
I grabbed all my things, lit up a cigarette,
and left.
As I was walking away,
I get a tap on my shoulder, and I hear,
"Well, are you going to stay?"
Hm.
I told him he was late.
He said he was sorry.
I walked over towards him,
and I saw that he brought a friend.
Hm..
So i sit down,
and after about 10-15 minutes, his friend mentions
FAKELY frantically that they must be somewhere right now.
clearly it was an escape plan set up,
but i was okay with that.
apparently they aer planning a Halloween Party at their dorms,
and they are HEAD of their committee.
Hm...
MizWHAT?! and a friend of ours walks up to me (i told her to come and interrupt ubruptly, as my get away car, but i motioned to her that there was no need for such actions.) and i introduce her to the crowd of people.
I sat in the middle and silently listened to each of their stories,
because i was sitting between two groups of people who clearly weren't interested in socializing.
Moments later, Mr.Oz's friend was pulling the emergency release cord,
and they flew the coop.
Hm....
I'm trying to keep my mind open as to what exactly that all means,
but next time, he can take me out for sushi.
plus if he's paying for food,
he'll be more reluctant to bring people.
Then maybe we can have a conversation. :)
Miz WHAT?! and I sat at starbucks for a few more hours, and caught up.
After sharing a pumpkin cookie, another NONFAT chai tea latte, a Green Tea, and seeing a picture of her boyfriend's more than perfect... well you know, we hopped in the car, and she drove me home.
We decided together that i'm over due for a fling.
However, since "flings" are usually during a warm season,
we're calling it a "Holiday Romance."
So she invited me to the CU game on Saturday (given if i can find a ticket, to go)
and then to an 80's themed party afterwards,
where she says,
i have to meet this "great" (open for interpretation) guy,
that she used to date in highschool.
We'll see.
I'm over due for a Holiday Romance.
Even if that Holiday Romance is fuled by the power of Cinnamon Shapps.
Matty B.
Yesterday was an action-packed day, to say the least.
It started with me going to the Optomitrist for the first time.
Apparently i need bifocals.
(and luckily for me, they make them in contacts. woot!)
I stumbled the car,
because my pupils were dialated (and were going to be for 6 more hours)
and lit up a cigarette.
Mr. DejaVu and I went to go get sushi at the very hip "Hapa" Restaurant in downtown Boulder.
After the mutipul orgasm roll and some calamari,
we went and visted MizWHAT?! at work.
She was fantastic.
After parting our seperate ways,
I hopped on the B Word to go uptown to the hill,
where i bought my Brainwash ticket.
FAB.
I arrived back downtown at about 5:45,
and headed over to Starbucks,
to meet Mr. OZ, at 6:30.
I walked in,
got a Non-fat Chai Tea Latte,
and sat in the park and smoked a cigarette, (or five)
while i did homework and listened to my iPod.
I got back to Starbucks at about 6:25,
and sat around for about 30 minutes or so.
After concluding he blew me off,
I grabbed all my things, lit up a cigarette,
and left.
As I was walking away,
I get a tap on my shoulder, and I hear,
"Well, are you going to stay?"
Hm.
I told him he was late.
He said he was sorry.
I walked over towards him,
and I saw that he brought a friend.
Hm..
So i sit down,
and after about 10-15 minutes, his friend mentions
clearly it was an escape plan set up,
but i was okay with that.
apparently they aer planning a Halloween Party at their dorms,
and they are HEAD of their committee.
Hm...
MizWHAT?! and a friend of ours walks up to me (i told her to come and interrupt ubruptly, as my get away car, but i motioned to her that there was no need for such actions.) and i introduce her to the crowd of people.
I sat in the middle and silently listened to each of their stories,
because i was sitting between two groups of people who clearly weren't interested in socializing.
Moments later, Mr.Oz's friend was pulling the emergency release cord,
and they flew the coop.
Hm....
I'm trying to keep my mind open as to what exactly that all means,
but next time, he can take me out for sushi.
plus if he's paying for food,
he'll be more reluctant to bring people.
Then maybe we can have a conversation. :)
Miz WHAT?! and I sat at starbucks for a few more hours, and caught up.
After sharing a pumpkin cookie, another NONFAT chai tea latte, a Green Tea, and seeing a picture of her boyfriend's more than perfect... well you know, we hopped in the car, and she drove me home.
We decided together that i'm over due for a fling.
However, since "flings" are usually during a warm season,
we're calling it a "Holiday Romance."
So she invited me to the CU game on Saturday (given if i can find a ticket, to go)
and then to an 80's themed party afterwards,
where she says,
i have to meet this "great" (open for interpretation) guy,
that she used to date in highschool.
We'll see.
I'm over due for a Holiday Romance.
Even if that Holiday Romance is fuled by the power of Cinnamon Shapps.
Matty B.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Die. Pain, Abused. I Feel So Used.
The death threats are back on the walls.
FAB.
You know what. I'm not going to apologize for my behavior.
I'm not going to apologize for being who I am.
And i am definatly not going to apologize for being wicked and honest, hot and thin, and definatly better than you.
Why am i better than you? (aside form the fact you are ugly and disgusting)
I'm not a coward.
I say shit to people's face.
and if you want to shoot me for that,
than it'll be the 4th school shooting this week.
Matty B.
The death threats are back on the walls.
FAB.
You know what. I'm not going to apologize for my behavior.
I'm not going to apologize for being who I am.
And i am definatly not going to apologize for being wicked and honest, hot and thin, and definatly better than you.
Why am i better than you? (aside form the fact you are ugly and disgusting)
I'm not a coward.
I say shit to people's face.
and if you want to shoot me for that,
than it'll be the 4th school shooting this week.
Matty B.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Brushing Up On Working Out
UNTIL BRIANWASH, I AM STAYING SOBER
Now that that has been established..
I texted MrOZ 3 times in the past... week or so,
inviting him out for coffee.
I snooped,
and I got a LITTLE TINY (even though i wanted more) PEEK of his blog,
and now i'm more confused.
Oh well.
He has my number.
I took a step out there,
hopefully we'l meet e half way (at a coffee shop, preferrably. I'm thirsty)
Matty B.
UNTIL BRIANWASH, I AM STAYING SOBER
Now that that has been established..
I texted MrOZ 3 times in the past... week or so,
inviting him out for coffee.
I snooped,
and I got a LITTLE TINY (even though i wanted more) PEEK of his blog,
and now i'm more confused.
Oh well.
He has my number.
I took a step out there,
hopefully we'l meet e half way (at a coffee shop, preferrably. I'm thirsty)
Matty B.
Picture Perfect?
Funny story.
My grandmother invited me over for dinner to her house, in Longmont.
Relunctantly, I agreed, because when I go to Longmont, I want to kill myself.
So, I made two new mixes on my iPod for the trip over there:
One dance/happy hardcore mix to life my spirits,
and one ANGRY/FUCKED UP music to help me channel the anger that i was no doubetly going to feel after being in the same city as Kathleen. (the bitch that birthed me)
I packed up a bunch of cute clothes that [do me no good sitting in my closet] would look great on my little brother, and prepared myself with some light music and a ciggarette.
[Plus al these clothes were too big or me, so they'd fit him just fine]
Little did i know, that when my older brother (CJ) asked Kathy to bring over my little brother, so that we could see him, she insisted on INVITING herself over, too.
When I heard this cute little tidbit,
i refused to go.
However, it would've killed my grandmother for me to make promises, and then break them.
So I popped in my iPod,
Put on my happy mix,
and attemped to lift my spirits.
20 minutes later, and FABULOUS wind-blow hair later,
i dismounted CJ's motorcycle,
put out my cigarette,
and marched into my grandma's house,
where the whole [disfunctional] family was waiting.
I didn't say one word to her.
I didn't even make eye contact.
At the end of the [VERY]akward and [VERY] unpleasant evening,
i told my little brother and my grandmother i loved them,
walked past the unloving bitch,
and left.
I never felt so in control, so powerful, or so incredibly full of sorrow,
because she drove me to the point of hate.
I love my mother don't get me wrong,
but call me when :
A.) You're sober
B.) You're a decent human being
C.) You don't make me wish you got an abortion
D.) You're not out to ruin my life, just because mine's better, and you can't even attempt to control yours.
Matty B.
Funny story.
My grandmother invited me over for dinner to her house, in Longmont.
Relunctantly, I agreed, because when I go to Longmont, I want to kill myself.
So, I made two new mixes on my iPod for the trip over there:
One dance/happy hardcore mix to life my spirits,
and one ANGRY/FUCKED UP music to help me channel the anger that i was no doubetly going to feel after being in the same city as Kathleen. (the bitch that birthed me)
I packed up a bunch of cute clothes that [do me no good sitting in my closet] would look great on my little brother, and prepared myself with some light music and a ciggarette.
[Plus al these clothes were too big or me, so they'd fit him just fine]
Little did i know, that when my older brother (CJ) asked Kathy to bring over my little brother, so that we could see him, she insisted on INVITING herself over, too.
When I heard this cute little tidbit,
i refused to go.
However, it would've killed my grandmother for me to make promises, and then break them.
So I popped in my iPod,
Put on my happy mix,
and attemped to lift my spirits.
20 minutes later, and FABULOUS wind-blow hair later,
i dismounted CJ's motorcycle,
put out my cigarette,
and marched into my grandma's house,
where the whole [disfunctional] family was waiting.
I didn't say one word to her.
I didn't even make eye contact.
At the end of the [VERY]akward and [VERY] unpleasant evening,
i told my little brother and my grandmother i loved them,
walked past the unloving bitch,
and left.
I never felt so in control, so powerful, or so incredibly full of sorrow,
because she drove me to the point of hate.
I love my mother don't get me wrong,
but call me when :
A.) You're sober
B.) You're a decent human being
C.) You don't make me wish you got an abortion
D.) You're not out to ruin my life, just because mine's better, and you can't even attempt to control yours.
Matty B.
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