"If You Don't Like The Effects, Don't Produce The Cause"
Apparently people get mad when you write about them. Especially when what you write about them could be true.
I've spent the weekend getting some much needed rest and relaxation. Last week, i started my new job, working as the Reservationist Coordinator at FIX Salon (I'm a salon manager, in a nutshell), as well as worked out every day this week.
I've decided that i am going to work out every day until the summer. I've been talking about how i want to get into shape, and reform my lifestyle to a healthy one, for many years. I start by going to the gym a few times, then get distracted by reality television, and end up hating myself a month and a half later.
So I've decided to make necessary cuts in my life, to trim the fat from my lifestyle. So far, I've quit eating candy and empty carbs, cut down on drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes, and spent at least an hour and a half every day at the gym. I've also decided to clear my conscious. Re connect with people that i wasn't activley nice to, as well as let people know that i don't appreciate what they are saying about me. I've managed to get on the good side on a few guys that I've lightly dated over the past few months, that i didn't spend the time nurturing a new relationship with. With yin comes yang, and i also was forced to cut toxic people out of my life. So far, the body count is 16.
Just now, Nick contacted me via Instant Chat on Connexion. Our conversation was brief, but he got out what he had to say. He told em that we weren't friends anymore, that it was fucked up for me to use names, and that he was going to get me kicked out over every place he ever saw me. *sigh* the trial and tribulations of being a gay man. to the outsider, this would look out of the ordinary. some person whom I've never mentioned in my blog telling me about how he was going to "kick me out of every party and club he ever sees me at". Little does the public know, that Jeff has been fucking him on and off for over a year. So naturally, he would run to his defense. i don't blame him.
What i think is fucked up, is that Jeff sent the link to my blog out to everyone, telling them what an asshole i am. THAT is even worse than using names. Basically, Jeff is broadcasting my blog to the Boulder Gay community, letting them know who's names I've been using, and what they have. it appears that Jeff is going for the jugular.
I don't think people realize how many emails a day i get via myspace and connexion, telling me how much they hate me, what an evil tranny bitch i am. I honestly try to be kind to everyone, but one unreplied comment only snowballs into a group of gays spamming me with hate because i can't actively seek them out and comment all their pictures. It's exhausting, but i do my best. As far as their insults go, they are just as unoriginal as heterosexual men. Seriously, if i hear someone call me a tranny faggot, or slut one more time, i will laugh in their face. Maybe people these days aren't as literate as they used to be, but come on! Open Microsoft Word, type the word "slut","faggot", or "whore" then hit F7 (for the thesaurus), and find something a bit more creative.
A friend of mine CW, invited me to a party a few weeks ago. I was very excited to get out of Boulder and venture to the big city, where excitement was sure to be awaiting me. I put my face on, got all dressed, did my hurr, and was walking out the door. I called him, and asked what he was doing. He said that he just got an 8 Ball of coke, and was so excited to do it. My face fell almost as fast as my stomach dropped. I frowned, and told him that i had made other plans, and that he KNEW that i didn't party like that anymore. I was getting too old for that shit. He laughed, and said that everyone knew that i still did it, and i should come over, so we could reunite as Matty B. & Cory Williams Y/G Stylin'. I told him I'd pass, and slid my Helio closed.
Not an hour later, I received emails sending me links to bulletins, blogs, and comments which fumed about how i was a stuck up bitch, who thought i was better then everyone else. "Who is he kidding? That hoe bag parties hardr than the rest of us, im sure! What a slut! He's probs fuckin sum guy to get drugz as we speak," said one comment.
I pulled out my make up remover wipes, and took off my face. I stepped into the shower, and let the hot water stream over my body. The worst part is that i try really hard.
There's more to come. This is only part one.
Matty B.
