I'm Having The Day From Hell.

Ever since friday,
everything is different.
I look at myself in the mirror,
and I'm a completely different person.
I look at the scale,
and it's a ocmpletely different weight.
I look at new pictures,
and i have a completely different body.
I feel my skin,
and it's a different texture,
i look at my eyes,
and the color is gone.
I look inward to my heart,
something that i thought i had regained,
only to be unpleastly surprized that there isn't anything there.

I have been trying to cry or laugh or smile or feel for days,
and all i find myself doing is longing to me with Angel.
and i don't like it.
i CAN'T like it.
we're best friends,
but it just can't be like that.
i feel veunerable,
and that's not acceptable.

This bitch needs to toughen up.
And I'm going to do it immidiatly.
Because this sad excuse of a person that's typing right now,
isn't liked my anyone.

I'm going to be who i was two summers ago.
I'll cut a bitch,
And not even blink.

Maybe it's the "leftover" drugs in my body,
but all i know is that i am going to be a stronger person,
I need to be a stronger person.
Or i won't make it.

What do you do when you're life's a disaster, but you're moving faster?
Matty B.