Season Three Finale
I can breathe today.
I woke up this morning,
to an overcast day,
my toes freezing,
my fingers matching;
and I hopped out of bed,
and clicked on my coffee pot.
After finishing my (small and managable) bowl of cereal,
I poured myself a very large cup of coffee,
and shared a cigarette with Carrie, Miranda, Charolette, and Samantha.
after finishing my cup of coffee,
as the credits rolled across the screen,
I coasted up my stairs,
and sorted laundry.
I stuck a load of whites in,
and watched the season finale of sex and the city,
while downing another cup of coffee.
I got to thinking.
after last night at the 80's party,
I realized that i DO believe i have dated almost every available guy in colorado.
..Or i've dated their friend or roommate.
I glaced over the Gaytabase and i've had SOME sort of relationship with 80% of the guys on there.
I'm not saying that i'm a slut,
But it's just weird, you know?
Should i stop looking for relationships with people i don't know,
or should I look inwards,
and try to rebuild bridges with people who i already know?
..or that know me?
It's nice, because i can think about all this calmly,
without any adverse negative feelings.
I've just burned a lot of bridges,
As i think about it now,
I burned them for a reason.
I guess the question is,
"Has time really mended my heart, opening my eyes to the good i saw in my X's? Or has is just fogged my vision as to why they are X's to begin with?"
What I do know, is that i'm going to finish my laundry,
Clean my bedroom and bathroom,
and start the week fresh.
Matty B.
