"I Make Them Boys Go Loco. What Want My Treasure, So They Get Their Pleasure From My Photos."
I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t like attention from men. We all know that I am the epitome of a Leo, and love my share of spotlight and attention. Recently, I’ve found that my personality and lifestyle is very similar to my good friend, Kyle. While, yes, we may post a few shirtless pictures here and there, we don’t hook up with people off the internet, like most gay men do. This morning for instance, I had six new emails complimenting me. When I graciously thanked them, and politely notified them that I don’t have sex with just anyone, they become defensive, and sometimes rude.
MattyB.: I don’t hook up with people.
N***: What will it take?
MattyB.: To have sex with me? You have to date me.
MattyB.: I’m not like other gay guys, believe it or not.
N***: That's fine with me. Anything for you.
MattyB.: ...You’re in a relationship
N***: That's pretty much over…
MattyB.: How convenient.
It’s not that I think that I’m above them, or a prude. I just try to keep my body, as well as my mind, as safe as possible. While the fact that it’s less interesting to read about, is moot. I figure with all the crazy situations I find myself in, my life plot is engaging enough with out the midnight romps.
Don’t get me wrong, I have had my share of sexual conquests as a crazy young teenager, like we all have. And I’m not saying that I don’t have sex… because (as you read) I do. I just don’t troll the internet and bars finding beefcakes with big dicks to fuck me. It’s demeaning, being a piece of meat. However, I find that I’ve grown and have matured past the mindless hook ups and midnight booty calls. I guess I don’t need the sexual satisfaction to validate the way I feel about how I look, or my body. Instead, I save it for people that I actually want to share my body with. When you see a picture of me suggesting nudity, it’s because I want to share the way I feel in that moment, with you. Not because I want to get pounded.
I was talking to Brady last night about how he was thinking about how he was considering becoming a stripper, when he moved to Colorado Springs. I was a bit taken aback, to say the least. First, he is in a steady relationship with Doni (who I find a hoot). Second, he doesn’t quite have that… desperation, that you need. Finally, he’s not much of a dancer. I mean, he can bop back and forth, wiggle his hips, and groove to the music, just fine. However, when it comes to strutting on stage naked… that takes a certain flair.
It’s hard to see the ones you care about lead a lifestyle that you don’t’ necessarily agree with. Especially, when they are traveling down a road that you know too well. I wouldn’t wish any part of my past upon anyone. I tried to talk him out of it, but we both know that he is a hard headed scorpio, and will have to make his own decisions in life. All I can do is be here to hold his hand, when he needs it.
I guess that’s what love is. Or at least the closest I’ve came to it.
XXO Matty B.
