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”Black Bird Singing In The Dead Of Night. Will You Take These Broken Wings, and Learn To Fly?-”
I recently met this boy Trev, on connexion. After exchanging a mere three or four emails, I invited him over to my house to watch a movie. I know what you’re all thinking. Gay boy invites another gay boy over to his house to “hang out”. Who’s going to bring the poppers and lube?
I’ve prided myself on not being the stereotypical homosexual. I’ve also prided myself on not being the stereotypical human being… in any situation. So when I invited him over, I of course, had the purest of intentions.
I was pleasantly surprised, by the person who drove up and parked in front of my house. I was finishing a cigarette as he walked up. He had the biggest smile on his face, and was genuinely excited to meet me. I have to be completely honest, I was a bit taken aback. I was expecting… well, anything other than him.
Most of the people I meet are usually either shooting their mouth off about how much they hate some bitch they ran into at the club, or how hot the guy across the street is. Although I do love the occasional gay banter, after a few years, it gets old. Suddenly every new person you meet is just like the last. You’re surrounded by these taupe people who lead horribly vapid lives, and you find that you would rather be alone, than try and invest any sort of relationship with these people.
Trev followed me upstairs, and set his stuff down beside my bed. We never got around to watching a movie. Instead, we just sat there and talked.
He walked around my room, and picked through my used canvasses, asking questions, commenting, suggesting things I should do, where I should hang them, etcetera. He was possibly the most interesting person that I’ve talked to, in a really long time. He asked about my life, what I did, what I wanted to do. About a half an hour after his arrival, we hopped out my window, onto the roof, to smoke. He was stoked that he could see the moon, and that I “had such a great view”. We took a few pictures, talked a little more, drank some champagne, and went back inside.
I spoke to him uninhibited, which was very strange for me. I think it’s because I didn’t see him as a threat, as I do with most gay men. Let’s be honest, gay men are horrible. Never in my life have I ever been so reluctant to tell any of them anything about my personal life, because I’ve been scared they would later use it against me. That’s ultimately why I took such a long time to start writing my blog again, because people take the way I feel, and twist it around against me.
I suppose it’s unfair to target gay men specifically. However, I have met a lot of people, and consider myself a fairly popular person, when it comes to the community. Many of my “friends” are gay men, and I have yet to meet more than a handful, that aren’t at least a little guilty of some backstabbing. I’m not saying I’m completely guilt-free, but I try to mend relationships I’ve ruined, and be a better person in the future. Maybe you think that’s total bullshit. However people will think and say what they will. Thus the beauty of this entire situation, we call life.
We continued to talk until the early morning hours, about exes, boys, art, music, everything you can imagine. As I was about to fall asleep, he gathered his things, and I walked him downstairs, to the front door. He has two dogs at home that he has to take care of, so he couldn’t stay. I hugged him, closed the door, and walked back upstairs.
What I loved about him, was that I was in a pressure-free situation. I got do meet someone new, and actually have a conversation with them, without them asking me to do their hair or make up.
Gay, Straight, Bi, Men, Women… whatever happened to being human?
Matty B.
