Who Cares About the Young Folks?
I decided to start attending the Art Institute for two reasons: One, they offered EXACTLY what I wanted to get a degree in. Two, they said after I turned 18, they would be able to offer me loans and grants that would, not only pay for school, but would also help with living expenses as well as supply costs. To say the least, I’ve been anticipating my birthday because I could FINALLY stop working 70 hour weeks at two different jobs. I could relax a little, and focus 110% on school.
School is very important to me, especially if I’m paying for it. Because I moved out when I was 15 I spent two years of high school trying to balance jobs and school, and it ultimately drove me to dropping out, because of how exhausting it is. I swore to myself that when I went to college, it would be different. I would finally be able to do be a “normal” student, who had the opportunity to dedicate himself to his degree.
My financial aid officer let me know today, that that wasn’t going to happen.
A week after applying for a number of loans, grant, and scholarships, the department head of the financial aid office sat me down, and we had a little discussion. Not only had I been denied ALL loans that I had applied for, for living expenses, but because I don’t have a co-signer, I was denied ALL loans period. Including ones that would cover tuition. For me, school costs $8,223.00 a semester. That doesn’t include supplies or lab fees. Just 6 classes a quarter, once a week. That’s $18,000.00 a year.
I can’t afford that.
This had been the 8th time I went to financial aid, looking for help. Isn’t that their job? After speaking to everyone and their mother, I still had no answers, and nowhere to turn. After speaking to the head of the department, my spirits were low. She asked me why I was attending the most expensive school in the state, if I had no money. I replied, it’s because I am so passionate about art, I will do almost anything to stay. She studied me for a moment, as I grabbed my things and stormed out of the office.
I’m the first person in my family to go to college, and now I know why. I called my mother in tears. She said that perhaps I should look into other schools. It’s early enough in my schooling, where if I were to transfer, I could just cut my losses with AI, and start over fresh. She says I should aim for the new year, and apply for spring semester.
Maybe she’s right. I’ve noticed a trend recently with myself: When something looks really good, I get excited about it. When something sounds really good, I take action. When something turns out to be amazing, I dedicate myself to it. However, when shit hits the fan, and things aren’t quite what they seem, I start to doubt myself. Then when the problems are too great, I get overwhelmed, and run away.
Just like men. Whenever I’m in a relationship, I feel trapped, and I don’t know what to do. So I break it off. Happened with Roby, and it’ll happen again.
They say anything worth having, you have to work for. Well, when do you know if you’re working at something that will never happen?
I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I definitely look forward to my admissions meeting at CU Denver.
Matty B.
