Suddenly I See. This Is Where I Want To Be.
I sit at the window.
I can feel the hard wooden chair beneath me,
secure, strong, stable.
I prop my feet up on the windowsill,
and the cool winter air filters through the screen,
and cascades over my ankles,
and settles between my toes.
I cast a dreary gaze out the window,
and i watch the smoke from my cigarette billow up and out,
grabbing the frame, and releasing it from it's confines.
The bells from the trains are dinging,
and the faint sound of cars excessively rushing around
reminds me of how at home I feel.
I lean back,
and inhale deeply,
breathing in the hot smoke of my cigarette,
mixed with the refreshing air of my new life;
my blank slate.
I smile to myself,
because this time is going to be different.
Because this time, I'm going to put in the footwork.
I'm going to make a difference.
As if straight to gods ear,
the smoke creeps out of my mouth,
and swirls to the screen,
where it leaps off,
carrying with it, my faith.
The clock hits 1am,
and i know i should go to bed,
but i want to soak up this feeling.
I want to remember this for when I'm down:
That I'm going to be alright.
For the first time,
I'm excited for life.
And it feels so goddamn good.
Matty B.
