You Are Who You Sleep With
The scene was perfect. As I walked into the very popular “Hamburger Mary’s” (An Uptown predominately gay restaurant) I immediately saw a dozen or so people that I knew. Greetings were exchanged; Hugs and kisses galore. The music switched, and Paris Hilton started singing about how she could what your girlfriend does, so much better.
Then I run into David. He’s sitting with his small boyfriend, Clayton. Apparently they were having drinks at Mary’s after going to Sushi. Eric called David’s new boy a tart. [Good use of the word, Eric!] There were comments about his hair and scruffy face.
What really got to me, though, was how impossibly rude his little man was. I was looking very good (He was not). I had a big beautiful white smile on my face (he was not). I was polite, and even made a joke (again, he was not). Being in this little, sad person’s presence was just horrifying. Ashley turned to me and made a gesture for the door.
I immediately made an excuse to leave, and I did (but not before making my rounds saying goodbye, and exiting with grace).
As I walked down the street towards my car, I couldn’t help but having this horrible bitter taste in my mouth. I immediately shrugged it off, and started laughing at the so-called “gorgeous guy”. Hey, If he was allowed to be mean, then so was I.
It’s funny when you run into old fucks, and past flings. Especially when you are so well put together. You see them now, and you have an immeasurable wave of disappointment come over you. Suddenly you’re thinking: “What on earth made me think that someone like THAT would be a good idea?” I was talking to Ashley, and she kept asking me what even attracted me to him. Like usual, she said that I was too pretty for the guy that I was seeing.
It’s really hard to find someone that is completely equal to you. I know that whenever I go “Husband Hunting” on the Gaytabase, I’m looking for someone who is as attractive, mature, and pulled together as I am (No luck so far). Because it is VERY true, you are who you date.
I know that when I was dating Jeremy (who was a total and complete asshole) I was a total and complete asshole. When I barely dated David (who was a total and complete mess) I was a total and complete mess. When I dated JJ ( who was a self righteous stingy fucker) I was a righteous stingy fucker.
It’s interesting how different relationships bring out different things in you. I know that when I was dating Brady, I brought out a happiness and a fun side to him, and he did; me. Basically, when you start a new relationship, you’re two blank canvasses. What color you decide to pain each other, is up to you.
Matty B.
