Bug-A-Boo
It’s interesting what people’s true intentions are. My most recent fling, Mark III (this is the third Mark that I’ve fooled around with in the past few months.) said to me last night,” Everyone’s always contradicting themselves. No one can keep an opinion.” And you know what? I have to agree with him. However, he was just saying that to get me to come over and have sex with him. Seemingly, it worked.
I was sitting at school working on a project, when his little “Connexion IM Window” popped up onto my screen. He started off by complimenting me, commenting my “decked out” profile, being mildly witty and humorous, while slipping in his little sexual innuendos. I immediately saw his game. Just like my Connexion profile says,” The only reason why you’re looking at my page, is either because you want to fuck me, or because you hate me.” Clearly it was the former.
I immediately told him that I was not looking for a hook-up. (It’s this new fad that I’m trying: not being a slut.) It was suggested that maybe I should consider possibly having a relationship. Apparently, my friends think that I should do more talking and learning about the man I‘m interested in, and less fucking. It seems that that’s the route to a healthy relationship; IE: not putting out on the first date.
You see, I don’t have a problem with relationships. In fact, I love being in them. I enjoy the idea of being able to rely on someone for something, even if it’s only accompaniment. The problem isn’t that I don’t want a relationship per say, I just have yet to meet anyone worth spending an extensive amount of time with. I’m having a hard enough time adjusting to the limited amount of time I’m spending with my roommate, Chad., much less nursing a new relationship.
After about an hour of talking, him attempting to seduce me (I found it incredibly amusing), and him beating around the bush, he just came out with it. He was cute and intelligent, and worked teaching theater to under-privileged kids, so this guy had to have a head on his shoulders. I told him to meet me in front of the Art Institute at 11:30pm.
He pulled up in a little red Tercel ( the same car my dear friend Ashley drives/ shares with me) and got out of the car. He was bigger than I was ( a little overweight, pretty hairy, defiantly bear-esque; but I was into it.), beautiful eyes, gorgeous smile, and this rugged masculine voice that gave me a stir in my little red briefs. We first talked about how he DID NOT want a relationship, and was just looking for someone regular to have come over. I wasn’t so sure about him, but we continued. We then talked about art and why I moved out so young (everyone asks), and after about half an hour I was getting tired, and asked to go home with him. He was thrilled.
So far, so good?
I get to his apartment, and the walls are painted all these different colors. I flash back to my grandma living in a downtown Boulder Co-Op. It feels like I should be getting ready to do yoga (considering every position I was in that night, I might as well have). He makes his bed, and we lie down to go to sleep. However, he had other plans.
The first thing that made me think twice was how he didn’t want me to take off my underwear. Not the weirdest fetish, but interesting nonetheless.
The second thing, was his back hair. I ignored it.
The third thing was how he (and I quote) “Am a totally natural guy. I use olive oil as a lubricant.” Wait- what?
I did NOT get fucked that night. Thank you, but oil will break down a condom and render it useless, as well as, I’m not a Brochette. I don’t need to be covered in oil and served to this Italian man.
Finally, I didn’t find it at all satisfying. His penis didn’t live up to the Italian name, and he was very awkward in bed. (although I am thin and look light, I am 6’4”, and NOT. You can’t just flip me any which way… I have long limbs) It was overall 2 ½ stars, and I don’t think that I would be into seeing him again.
The next morning we grabbed a coffee in the Panera Bread, that it’s underneath my apartment building. He immediately told me that he wanted to see me again. I stopped mid-sip. I turned to him and told him that even though he was a nice guy, had beautiful eyes, and was… interesting, he wasn’t my type. (I can’t see myself spending a lot of time with him, and in fact the time I did spend with him was borderline taupe. The overall experience was “all right”.)
The tables had turned. He suddenly wanted to date, and I suddenly did not. I found the entire situation kind of ironic and a little funny, until I checked my Connexion Inbox. Three emails in two hours telling me about how he wanted to see me again and had a great time. Compliments get you far with me, but you can’t persuade someone to be date you. ( I learned that the hard way)
It seems that when all I want is a hook up, all I get is a phone full of text messages and an inbox full of emails; while whenever I want to pursue dating someone, all I get is either no response, or a polite brush off (and then there are the emotionally unstable one’s that we won’t even get into).
So the question is:
Do I lower my standards and start dating someone that I don’t see/ want to have feelings for and just date, for the sake of dating? Or do I hold out for some interesting, beautiful person that may or may not exist?
Matty B.
