I meander down the street.
The snows is falling delicately,
And gently resting on my shoulders,
And crowning my head.
A slow, steady stream of smoke
Seeps from my lips.
I sit there,
One hand holding a cigarette,
The other holding my iPod.
My P-coat is tightly buttoned around me,
And I look around; hopeful.
The city is busy around me,
And I take it all in.
Couples are everywhere;
Holding hands,
Kissing,
snuggling,
loving.
Brandy sings a reminder in my ear:
You tried.
I feel my stomach drop,
And I’m back to wondering:
What if trying my best isn’t enough?
When is enough, enough?
Every guy that I have been with in the past year,
I have given my 100% to.
For two people in particular,
110%.
Things are so frustrating!
What the fuck?!
I don’t demand anything.
I hardly even ask.
Is it so wrong to ask for an investment?
If I’m putting my eggs in a basket,
Shouldn’t you help me carry it?
The worst part is,
Is it’s not me.
There for, it’s out of my control.
I need to find I new way.
Find a new way to dance.
Matty B.
