The Only Little Boy In New York
I've been busting my ass up and down this house.
And i am STILL not done.
This whole moving process has been so hard.
Ohysically and emotionally draining.
Eric is coming over tomorrow morning,
at like 7am,
and i'm makin ghim sleep next to me.
I've been missing that warm body next to me.
I feel foolish.
I'm exhausted.
it's almost midnight.
..yet i'm staying awake
because I want him to come online?
Who am I?
This is fucking ridiculous.
I don't do this.
I don't swoon over boys.
I feel so childish,
and i'm kind of upset with myself that i'm acting so freely.
I feel..
veunerable.
Not that shallow veunerable,
the "Strip-me-down-and-expose-me-to-a-world-of-window-shoppers" veunerable.
It makes me uncomfortable,
and other than a brief chat that we had,
he hasn't really given me that..
that sign of faith, you know?
I have now where this is going.
I knwo where I want it to go,
but i kinda feel liek i'm the only one out there taking a chance, you know?
I mean, if you look at his profile and his X's profile,
they have matching pictures of them.
I don't know.
Take a small breath.
light a cigarette.
I've made my move.
now [please] make one of your own.
Matty B.
