What's He Doing?
I pushed him too hard.
and i can feel he aftermath, now.
It's similar to coming down off of a drug:
It is blissful and amazing during the time of ignorance.
However, once the drug starts to leave your body,
you start to feel empty and helpless,
almost panicky.
And that is how i feel.
Everyone (including him) keeps telling me how much people love me,
but in reality,
it's not love that people have.
it's shallow awe.
people want to be around me because i have a decent face,
and i work for Hollister,
and i live on my own.
no one ever wants to look deeper,
no one ever tries to look deeper.
believe it or not, there's more to me.
believe it or not, i have feelings.
believe it or not, with every cut blood comes out.
with every hateful word,
a tear is shed.
with every lonley moment,
a regret is made.
and i'm tired of bleeding and regretting everywhere.
just.
i need to feel again.
he made me feel again.
i just hope i don't fuck up friendship, too.
Matty B.
