It Doesn't Feel Right, Until You Start To Drown-"
So I Emailed Mr.Oz yesterday.
In reality, we've been emailing eachother back and forth a little bit, for a few days now..
..so I asked him some hard [but valid] questions.
He's read the message, but hasn't written back.
It seems ever since i've been spending time with Mr.Angel,
Things like that have started to loose effect.
Instead of being angry and upset,
I'm not surprised.
Instead of brooding around,
I'm understanding that he's his own person.
Instead of taking it personally,
I have accepted that he has to have his share of horrible [and they will be horrible] relationships,
to realize what an amazing boyfriend i was.
i mean, yeah Mr.Oz is a great fuck [i thought him everything he knows],
but lets be honest,
he never told me how he felt about me,
he never showed me how he felt about me,
and we never got to be alone.
Not the worst boyfriend,
but there are better.. i hope.
I mean,
Mr.Angel is SO adorable.
Seriously, he walks into the room, and the sight of his smiling face just brightens my day.
His [how could i put it?] Doofy? His Big Silly Laugh just makes me explode [literally] in laughter,
and makes my day worth while.
He goes out of his way to make me smile,
Flowers, kisses, cuddling, etc..
..and one of the best parts, is that he makes me feel sexy..
that sounds stupid, but whatever.
He totally has a GORGEOUS body,
and i don't feel like a pregnant heffer cow.
I feel slim and sexy and gorgeous,
..i feel worthy of being around him,
I've never had that before...
and goddamn it, it feels good.
However, there's always a down side.
Hm.. i know he reads this,
and i know everyone reads this..
...but i kind of get jealous of Girlfriend.
IT IS RIDICULOUS, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.
I barely know this amazing person,
and im jealous of this beautiful connection that they have.
All i know is this:
If he ever looks at me 1/2 the way he looks at Girlfriend,
I would be one lucky son of a bitch.
I don't think she knows how lucky she is.
He really does love her.
Matty B.
