Honesty Overdose
I got home at 6:15 am this morning.
When i stumbled out of the passenger-side door,
i steadied myself on the smooth, cold garage wall,
and i traced my history back to the door leading inside.
I daintily stepped around the two ash trays, and six bags of trash,
and hopped up into my frigid home.
Winter air swirling all around me,
it greets me with an unwelcoming blow to the face.
I wabble over to the window
and close it with a forceful, yet satisfying click.
Now the room being vapid and empty,
i felt the room wane in towards me,
and i immidiately drop to the floor, laughing histerically.
I dug my fingernails into the cheap wallmart-quality carpet,
and roll around in the snow-chilled floor.
I'm standing at my mirror.
Wait- What?
IN a blink of an eye,
it staring at myself in the mirror,
examining every perfection; every flaw.
i turn on my shower,
and pull a warm towel out of my closet.
i suck in my stomach,
and all of my clothes slide off my body,
effortlessly,
painfully.
then suddenly i'm looking at the delicate frame of my body.
and i can't see it.
i can only see what i'm letting myself see.
I open my mouth and let the hot water cascade all over my body.
wait-what?
instantly in sitting at the bottom of my shower,
feeling the water beat upon my head.
i open my eyes,
and all i see is red.
crimsion hatred pours from my wrists,
but not as much as what coming out of my nose.
I'm numb.
I'm numb.
I'm numb.
I'm numb.
I'm ugly and i'm numb.
And it makes this bitch fierce.
I nuzzle ddown into my cold blankets,
and instantly,
it's the next afternoon.
Matty B.
