I Will Break Into Your Thoughts, With What's Written On My Heart
I don't know how to take things lately.
Things have been absolutely crazy lately.
This sickness hasn't been going away.
I serisously can't eat ANYTHING.
I can't even drink water.
Plus side? I've been loosing weight like crazy.
Down side? Odd sleeping hours, and heartburn. (oh yeah, the hunger thing, lol.)
But the MAD amounts of pills have been easing up on that. (which aren't doing anything, i might add.)
Ho Hum. At least I'll be skinny at the end of all this.
This whole "drama" with MR.OK is dying down. He's too afraid to say anything to me.
(Basically he's a coward, but we knew that already).
His little friend from Oklahoma has been been emailing me,
But it doesn't matter because he's fat, shiny, zitty, and over all repulsive.
..So i have a lot of material to work with.
With Mr.OK there wasn't quite as much, but I still a plethora of stuff to use.
His little friend though, this kid is ABSOLUTLEY GROSS.
It's amusing.
So i read something today, and i'm quite sure how to take it.
I think that i'm very open inblog, and not very coy as to how i feel.
..Which sometimes gets me bit in the ass,
But at least i'm honest, right?
Point of the story?
I was reading Mr.Oz's blog today,
and in it he said that he was looking at old pictures of us (not that specifically, but i'm not a dumbass)
some old memorabelia,
some letters that were exchanged,
..and burned them.
I kind of just sat there, in disbelief.
I mean, I know we're not together,
nor have we been for a while,
And i realize that he wants/needs to experience life or whatever..
..Start over, if you will.
But that's a big part of who I am today.
I don't think he realizes how much i changed.
(Whether or not i knew it/ wanted to).
I'm a better person after knowing him,
after loving him,
And even if his intensions were pure,
It just sucks that he wants to let something like that go.
Because I don't want to.
I'm proud of the person I've become,
and when we were together,
i was VERY proud of the person he became.
He took such amazing strides,
And that showed me a lot,
and instigated change within myself.
And the fact that two people could change so much for eachother,
and still care in the end..
Well, i wouldn't give that memory up for the world.
Matty B.
