Your name will remain confidant
I heard something today.
It disturbed me. A LOT.
I heard that you are infatuated with a teacher.
You made him a CD.
You call him daily.
You eat dinner at his house.
He pays you money for you to come over, and "help" him.
Personal feelings aside,
Do you think he'll make you feel any better about yourself?
Do you think it's okay?
Do you think it's right?
Do you think he'll love you?
Beause if you think he will, REMEMBER THIS:
He will NEVER love you the way i do.
He will never satify you, that way i do.
And he will never make you forget me.
For Christ's sakes, do you think he'll run away with you?
THINK ABOUT THIS.
He is "cheating" on his partner of 20 years, who (CONVIENIENTLY) is DYING of AIDS, with you.
And he's done it before.
He'll never change,
But you will.
He'll give you HIV, and you will be cursed for the rest of your life.
It makes me wonder if you ever cared for me.
And it makes me wonder,
all those sweet things,
were they real?
are you real?
the love,
the smiles,
the generosity.
the gifts.
CHRIST! you gave him the SAME CD MIX YOU GAVE ME.
And you're not even here to talk to me.
I am SO lost, and lonely without you.
Can't you see this?
I know that i lost something today.
It was RESPECT.
For you.
For Him.
What do i do now?
Do i overlook it, and hope that my undying love is enough?
Is it?
Clearly it wasn't before.
Unfortunately, I don't think so.
I lie in my bed,
unable to make out a clear thought,
because the rush of pain and tears are flooding my head.
How am I supposed to make things work?
How am I supposed to go out in public,
when EVERYONE knows about GRAND JUNCTION.
(That you conviently left for without telling me, to go to, because he paid for the trip)
I'll never be able to be seen.
I'll never be able to be with you.
PLEASE TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE.
PLEASE.
Matty B.
