Tonight was.. practically indescribable.
However, I'm going to try:
The bass blasted through my body,
reviving a hidden part of me that has been long since gone missing.
I awoke from within.
as i felt the feeling return to my limbs,
i could see the crowd breathe together,
move together,
and i knew that i had to be in the center of it.
I slid my way through the crowd,
up some stares,
wink
smile
wave,
and up the last few steps,
to the stage.
It was packed.
Everyone was pressed together,
dancing into eachother,
rather than with eachother.
His body touched mine,
gently at first,
then more aggressive,
when i didn't show a sign of rejection.
three steps in,
the music slows to a halt.
the lights black out,
just for a moment,
and as i broke through the crowd,
to the front and center of the stage,
the lights flared,
and the bass blared,
and the gromit faggots glared,
as they saw my hands rise above everyone,
and my hips dip low.
I felt alive just then.
The felling of a trickle of sweat revived my soul,
and i knew i was back.
I commented to His new boyfriend,
that He was a good guy,
and that he has my luck for him.
The genuine honesty came from the bottom of my new found soul,
But His words preceeded me,
and my reputation was known.
Suddenly my kind, honest words were taken as cynical and rude.
As His new boyfriend ran away from me,
Into His arms,
telling him of my words,
I smiled to myself,
because i was okay.
I accepted the animosity that was presented to me
[in front of me, and behind my back.. Don't think i can't hear you]
and took it with stride.
I sunk into the crowd,
and blended with the other shirtless boys/men that were seeking the same feeling as I.
Hours passed,
and i found myself sitting in Denver Diner.
Shirtless, and sweaty,
i downed my coffee,
and
That's when i saw you walk in.
An absurdly-long and overly drawn out mild flirtation,
suddenly became real, as you passed me,
while accompanying your friend.
I turn my head down
knowing that i look like a skanky hooker,
and laugh at a joke that was never said.
I look up moments later,
seeing if i was in the clear,
but you got caught in traffic,
and our eyes connected,
and i could feel my face get hot.
after you sat down,
i ran to the bathroom to [attempt] to fix my hair,
or make-up,
or LIFE,
and as i look into the mirror,
you're standing behind me.
With the biggest grin on your face.
Immidiately, i'm red again,
[fourth time in my life]
and i'm apologizing for looking like the train wreck i did.
(wearing a floor length cape,
underwear,
and tennis shoes)
You smile,
laugh,
and compliment me,
and my face continues to burn.
minutes pass,
you joke about havting to pee,
and i scurry out of the bathroom,
too embarassed to speak.
The table silences as i approach,
and my friends just laugh at the situation.
we end up talking outside while i smoke,
and we exchange cute text messages on my way home.
my evening was a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least.
but i find that eventhough i'm not dancing at the club,
and it's 4:45am,
i still have that "re-kindled" feeling.
I do believe that my faith in men, have been restored.
Matty B.
